Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Seen just now on Threads:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Spotted on Threads:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Shared recently on X:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Just landed via YouTube:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Going viral on Slack:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, my screen froze in panic mode, now my phone needs therapy! 📱😂💆‍♀️

call, communication, Earth, frustration, horror, humor, i, just, me, message, missed, missed call, phone, screen, sorry, staring, technology, text, text message, why, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, media, much, news, nicer, nicer place, place, positivity, turn, world
I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, exercise, fitness, hand, hand awkwardness, hands, humor, i, indecision, jogging, never, running, sure
Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

0

2 months ago

excuse, family, hang, hang out, humor, i, joke, kid, parenting, sorry, still, think, weekend
Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

0

2 months ago

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking
If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, dance, dance move, doing, dropping, fun, hell, hot, humor, lifestyle, move, party
You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

0

2 months ago

communication, compatibility, girl, guy, humor, joke, just, laughter, lol, relationship, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

17 shares on X this month:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

29 shares on Discord this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Making waves on Instagram:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Trending via Slack:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Just landed via YouTube:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Seen just now on X:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨