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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

29 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Reported on LinkedIn:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Making waves on Threads:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Reported on WhatsApp:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just landed via Threads:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Jan 25, 2025

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"

account, advice, ask, bank, bank account, before, bridge, bridge troll, buy, buying, easy, financial, financial advice, humor, i, me, money, need, riddles, something, spending, too, troll

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

29 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Reported on YouTube:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Trending via Facebook:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Spotted on Slack:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Going viral on Twitch:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

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