Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Making waves on Twitch:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Breaking via Messenger:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like our plans are getting a party upgrade! Too bad I'm switching to ghost mode 👻🎉

2, ago, cancellation, event, excuse, friend, going, humor, invitation, invite, months, people, plan, plans, sarcasm, social, social event, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

0

4 weeks ago

alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still
If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

0

2 months ago

confidence, envy, fashion, humor, i, media, Pinterest, social, social media, style, wardrobe, wardrobe envy
Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, adult, adult life, ask, childhood, even, fast, friends, fun, fun activity, growing, growing up, life, new, new sh, nostalgia, run, running, sh, sucks
University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

0

7 days ago

class, education, humor, paid, sarcasm, self learning, student, teaching, tuition, university, yourself
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

0

2 months ago

alive, Chinese, Chinese food, commercial, food, humor, i, life, once, seen
I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

0

5 months ago

communication, disagree, disagreement, easy, everyone, humor, i, relationship, relationships, sarcasm, should, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Live now on Threads:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Broadcasted on X:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨