Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Breaking via WeChat:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Trending via Messenger:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Going viral on Reddit:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Breaking via X:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Spotted on Reddit:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Going viral on Slack:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Just shared via Slack:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”

5, ago, boss, diarrhea, embarrassment, humor, i, job, laid, layoff, miscommunication, months, prank, telling, texting, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Blowing over it is also dusting.

0

2 months ago

blowing, cleaning, dusting, humor, irony, over, perspective
Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

0

2 months ago

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care, smell
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

0

2 months ago

dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

0

2 months ago

call, communication, ever, humor, i, joke, just, marital, marital joke, marriage, only, person, phone, relationship, trying, wife
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

0

2 months ago

2030, age, age difference, appearance, difference, feel, feeling, humor, just, millennials, old
Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

0

2 months ago

aging, beach, falling, film, humor, irony, love, movie, old, only, romance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Spotted on Instagram:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Spotted on Messenger:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Spotted on X:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Going viral on Messenger:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Just shared via Reddit:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨