Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,803

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Spotted on Instagram:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Trending via Reddit:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Going viral on Slack:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Trending via Pinterest:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you've finally found the perfect spot for that one surviving dollar! 💸👖🤣

after, bill, bills, budgeting, expense, finance, humor, i, jean, jeans, left, leftover, little, money, over, pay, perfect, pocket, size

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

0

2 months ago

announce, death, every, family, gardening, houseplant, humor, irony, kill, loss, time
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

0

2 months ago

1, anniversary, anything, bad, bad luck, ever, expectations, gift, gifts, going, humor, luck, marriage, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst
Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, leave, me, relationship, sarcasm, treat
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

0

5 months ago

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube
I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

0

2 months ago

crazy, existed, humor, level, personality, unexpected, warned
I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

0

5 months ago

cozy, fort, friendship, humor, ID, invitation, pillow, pillow fort, room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

60 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Broadcasted on X:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨