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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Making waves on WeChat:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Spotted on Threads:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Trending via Twitch:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Making waves on Messenger:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

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The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.
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Commentary:
"Can't wait for our 3 a.m. dream meeting! Don't forget to bring the dream snacks! 😴🍕✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

59 shares on Discord this month:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

93 shares on X this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account is also in retrograde.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Going viral on Twitch:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Trending via Messenger:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Going viral on Twitch:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Seen just now on Slack:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

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