Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Trending via Facebook:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Making waves on YouTube:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

Just landed via Telegram:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Spotted on Discord:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Going viral on Messenger:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Live now on Telegram:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

15 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about explaining balcony safety to a mischievous cat.

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Commentary:
Cats insisting on extreme stunts: 9 lives. Me? Just 1 very stressed one 🤦‍♂️🐱😂

animal, animal behavior, balcony, behavior, cat, emotion, even, explain, human, human emotion, humor, i, jump, owner, pet, pet owner, trying, want, well, why

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

21 shares on Messenger this month:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just landed via Threads:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Live now on X:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨