Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Just landed via WeChat:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Making waves on YouTube:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Shared recently on Threads:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Seen just now on Discord:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cats insisting on extreme stunts: 9 lives. Me? Just 1 very stressed one 🤦‍♂️🐱😂

animal, animal behavior, balcony, behavior, cat, emotion, even, explain, human, human emotion, humor, i, jump, owner, pet, pet owner, trying, want, well, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

0

2 months ago

always, Christmas, eve, helpful, helpful phrase, holiday, holiday stress, humor, i, maybe, panic, phrase, should, someone, sooner, stress, thought, well
They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

0

2 months ago

advice, diner, experience, food, going, humor, life, little, school, teach, weird
Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

0

2 months ago

angel, ass, came, ear, forehead, guardian, guardian angel, humor, kiss, last, me, night, pain, relationship, sarcasm, whisper
Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

0

2 months ago

accident, bathroom, crime, embarrassing, humor, joke, pants, public, public urination, restroom, silly, urination
“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

0

2 months ago

animals, best, best season, cold, humor, husky, okay, outside, pet, season, sit, sit outside, winter
I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, coffee humor, daily, daily struggle, hope, humor, i, morning, morning routine, motivation, rise, routine, shine, struggle, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨