Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Spotted on Facebook:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Chasing my dreams because they offer better benefits than the job market! 🚀💤✨

bad, career, choice, dream, dreams, follow, going, humor, job, job market, life, life choice, market, motivation, unemployment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

0

2 months ago

aging, around, car, driving, forgetfulness, hour, humor, looking, lot, mall, parking, parking lot, senility, spent
What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

0

2 months ago

couch, funny observation, gathering, humor, observation, people, social, social gathering, Sunday, visit, wrong
My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

0

2 months ago

activity, balance, control, couch, end, exercise, falling, favorite, leisure, pose, remote, remote control, table, yoga
Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

0

2 months ago

assumption, bold, climb, die, energy, even, hill, humor, i, laziness, sarcasm, struggle
First World War. Kind of nervous.

0

2 months ago

first world war, history, humor, joke, kind, nervous, war, world
Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

0

2 months ago

act, better, bring, children, competition, drop, drop off, hate, humor, judgment, just, me, parent, parenting, parents, school

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

15 shares on Slack this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Just shared via Reddit:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Spotted on Instagram:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Spotted on Reddit:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Shared recently on Threads:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Making waves on X:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Just landed via Threads:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Live now on Reddit:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨