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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Just shared via Messenger:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Spotted on Facebook:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Trending via Slack:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

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Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing like a little emotional eruption to spice up the evening! 🌋😅 All good though, we all needed some entertainment! 🍿😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Trending via Messenger:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Just shared via Telegram:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Spotted on Facebook:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

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