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Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,590

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Live now on Telegram:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Just landed via Threads:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Spotted on Messenger:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
When you level up from Fisher-Price to Edward Scissorhands! ✂️😂✂️

comparison, doing, frustration, funny observation, hands, hell, humor, observation, ones, pair, real, regular, scissor, scissors, serious, tool, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

1 month ago
away, black, clothes, fashion, packing, seasonal, summer, time, unpacking, winter
Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

1 month ago
cooky, craving, delivery, food, humor, just, online, online shopping, pizza, shopping, start, waiting, websites
Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

1 month ago
aging, fruit, humor, perspective, raisin, still, sweet, sweetness, wrinkle, wrinkles
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

2 months ago
animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

2 weeks ago
clarity, hindsight, humor, i, post-standing, post-standing clarity, self-reflection, sitting, standing, time, whole
There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

4 months ago
humor, people, physiology, reason, rude, rudeness, simply, sneeze, weakness, yell

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Just shared via Twitch:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Making waves on Twitch:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Trending via Slack:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

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Activity Log ✨

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Never eat more than you can lift.

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You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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