Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Just landed via TikTok:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Live now on Messenger:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Breaking via Threads:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Just shared via WeChat:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Freshly posted on X:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Trending via WeChat:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you level up from Fisher-Price to Edward Scissorhands! ✂️😂✂️

comparison, doing, frustration, funny observation, hands, hell, humor, observation, ones, pair, real, regular, scissor, scissors, serious, tool, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

0

2 weeks ago

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today
You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

0

2 months ago

adult, choices, freedom, humor, kids, life, life choices, mind, never, parenting, responsibility, want
Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

0

5 months ago

annoyance, communication, crazy, getting, ghosted, ghosting, interaction, irony, place, relationship, social, social interaction, someone
I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

0

2 months ago

action, action scene, always, comedy, dialog, flashbacks, frustration, mixed, mixing, movie, movie volume, neighbor, never, scene, sound, sound mixing, understand, understanding, volume, war, war flashbacks
If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

0

2 months ago

advice, bathroom, busy, drama, drink, humor, life, life advice, looking, priorities, time, too, water
Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

0

1 month ago

Asian, Asian girl, company, everyone, friendly, girl, here, humor, tech, tech company, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Going bananas on YouTube:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Just shared via X:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Going bananas on Discord:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨