Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on Slack:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Just shared via Facebook:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Live now on LinkedIn:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Just shared via Reddit:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Just landed via X:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Witty quote about feeling surprisingly strong amidst humorous circumstances.
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Commentary:
When they start calling you a superhero, but all you want is a nap! 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️😴

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your pronouns should be get/help.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Live now on Pinterest:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Going viral on Messenger:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Going viral on Reddit:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Freshly posted on X:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Just landed via YouTube:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

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