Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Breaking via YouTube:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Going viral on Discord:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Just landed via WeChat:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Just landed via Twitch:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When they start calling you a superhero, but all you want is a nap! 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️😴

bad, compliment, encouragement, ever, humor, interaction, irony, know, met, people, person, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

0

2 months ago

aging, block, door, holding, humor, i, isolation, old, people, shut, used
Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

0

2 months ago

age, call, comfort, days, excited, excitement, home, i, just, lay, lay down, me, old, old age, relaxation, tiredness
I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

0

2 months ago

diet, drink, fish, house, humor, irony, lifestyle, love, vegan, water
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

0

5 months ago

age, communication, culture, generation, humor, identity, language, let, nostalgia, nothing, refuse, slang
Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

0

2 months ago

again, coffee, conversation, greetings, humor, much, sarcasm, talking, too, too much
When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

0

2 months ago

Adolf, al, grok, humor, joke, just, name, name joke, using

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

24 shares on X this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

27 shares on Slack this month:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Live now on WeChat:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Shared recently on X:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Live now on Reddit:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨