Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going viral on Reddit:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Spotted on Instagram:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Just shared via X:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Just shared via TikTok:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Making waves on WeChat:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Making waves on YouTube:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Cheers to our biggest fans living vicariously through the 'unfriend' button they never pressed! 🕵️‍♂️🙃 #AwkwardFrenemies"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want
I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

0

2 months ago

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today
Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, exercise, fitness, gay, hour, hours, humor, joke, just, straight, time, workout
Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

0

2 months ago

communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars
I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

0

2 months ago

black, Black Eyed Peas, eyed, favorite, favorite part, feeling, got, humor, i, i’ve, I’ve Got a Feeling, just, lyric, mazel, Mazel Tov, music, music preference, peas, preference, sarcasm, say, song, tov, where
When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

0

2 months ago

assumption, cheese, enriching, food, found, humor, i, life, lifestyle, people, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

23 shares on Telegram this month:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Just landed via Threads:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨