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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Just shared via Messenger:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Live now on X:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Going bananas on X:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Spotted on Snapchat:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Just landed via Threads:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I've boarded the alien express and Facebook's driving the spaceship! 👽🚀

accidental, accidental click, accidentally, activity, algorithm, click, different, Facebook, humor, identity, media, much, online, online activity, person, post, social, social media, technology, UFO

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

1 month ago
comfort, humor, i, know, meal, movie, outfit, preference, relatable, rewatch, routine, self-care
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

2 months ago
humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

1 month ago
aging, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, mad, rearrange, senior, senior year, store, welcome, where, year
Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

1 month ago
brand, choice, choices, excited, humor, life, life choice, new, questioning, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, super, week
Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

1 month ago
again, coffee, conversation, greetings, humor, much, sarcasm, talking, too, too much
Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

1 month ago
actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Making waves on Telegram:

Happy new fear!

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Spotted on Instagram:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Just landed via Reddit:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

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Activity Log ✨

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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