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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Jan 12, 2026

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Just landed via Twitch:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Making waves on Telegram:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Trending via TikTok:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Just shared via YouTube:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Broadcasted on Slack:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Live now on Snapchat:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

2 hours ago

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you need to feel both free and plugged in at the same time 🎧😆🎵

being, casual, fun, headphone, headphones, humor, music, naked, relaxation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

2 months ago

back, behavior, communication, deleting, different, digital, digital behavior, etiquette, humor, interaction, ok, paragraph, self-control, social, social interaction, texting, texting etiquette, type
As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

5 months ago

chip, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, help, humor, i, just, OCD, order, pringle, respect, snack, someone
My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

2 months ago

bath, breakfast, cinnamon, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, crunch, doctor, food, funny idea, humor, idea, joke, me, milk, milk bath, self-care, toast, told, try
Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

2 months ago

actually, customer, customer service, customers, facade, fake, fake laugh, humor, job, job skill, laugh, laughing, professional, professional facade, service, skill, social, social skill, workplace, workplace humor
The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

2 months ago

autobiography, biography, difference, humor, literature, self-explanatory, wordplay, writing
When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

2 months ago

Christmas, decorate, dust, going, holiday, home, house, humor, least, month, procrastination, saying, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

48 shares on Discord this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Trending via Messenger:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Trending via Reddit:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

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