Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress 😂💔 #ModernDatingStruggles"

accomplish, apps, communication, contact, dating, frustration, hours, humor, i, ID, nothing, relationship, someone, support, talk, tech, thanks, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

0

2 months ago

anytime, careful, caution, ever, humor, nobody, nothing, secrecy, word
I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

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2 months ago

drink, everyday, everyday life, forgetfulness, full, glass, half, humor, humor quote, i, irony, kind, life, person, perspective, put, self-deprecating
Shorts should be half the price of pants.

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2 months ago

clothing, comparison, economics, fashion, humor, pants, price, shorts, should
Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

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2 months ago

comedy, easily, fart, fear, humor, i, joke, lighthearted, me, scare
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

0

2 months ago

celery, celery stalk, cold, cold soup, comfort, comfort food, drink, even, food, humor, ice, little, nothing, over, quirky, quirky drink, soothe, soul, soup, stalk, tomato, tomato soup, vodka
After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

0

2 months ago

face, fix, humor, i, irritation, me, patience, self-care, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Slack this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

86 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

24 shares on X this month:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Trending via YouTube:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨