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I withdraw my argument. I didnโ€™t realize you had a meme to back you up.

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How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

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If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

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Itโ€™s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

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Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

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That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

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On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

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Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

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Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

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Iโ€™m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

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Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you can have the riveting experience of conversing with tech support for hours without any progress ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’” #ModernDatingStruggles"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

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I shouldโ€™ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

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You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

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I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

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Youโ€™re never alone. There’s mold.

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What a strange day. And it has been for years.

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You can tell youโ€™re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

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Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

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My dream car is a taco truck.

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Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.