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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Trending via Telegram:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Trending via Instagram:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Going viral on Slack:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Live now on YouTube:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Going viral on Telegram:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting a game of Hangman with my contacts—he's got only two vowels left before he vanishes! 😂✌️🔡

boy, breakup, contact, contacts, delete, every, game, gone, hangman, humor, letter, name, names, relationship, revenge, time, upset

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

activity, discomfort, drinking, favorite, fun, hobby, humor, i, making, people, sarcasm, still, swearing, time, uncomfortable
If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

change, cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, craving, food, happiness, humor, mood, never
You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

0

2 months ago

advice, change, food, humor, life, life advice, past, pasta, wordplay
My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

0

2 months ago

bit, family, humor, i, ignore, kids, me, parenting, say, something, where
I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, confidence, conversation, explain, humor, i, just, right, sarcasm
Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

0

2 months ago

apartment, hell, Shazam, upstairs, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

94 shares on Slack this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

52 shares on Threads this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Trending via Pinterest:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Seen just now on Threads:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Spotted on TikTok:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Just landed via Messenger:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨