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Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Just landed via Telegram:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Seen just now on Discord:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Just landed via Messenger:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Just shared via Facebook:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Going bananas on Twitch:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Going viral on Facebook:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about imagining stories in your mind when bored, playful and humorous tone.

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Commentary:
My head's like Netflix, always ready to stream the latest episode of 'My Imaginary Life.' 🎬🤷‍♂️📚

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Discord this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

56 shares on X this month:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

25 shares on Slack this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Live now on Slack:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Live now on Slack:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Seen just now on Threads:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Going viral on WeChat:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

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Activity Log ✨

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Keep the laugh going 😂

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨