Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Breaking via Twitch:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Trending via Facebook:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Trending via Messenger:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
My head's like Netflix, always ready to stream the latest episode of 'My Imaginary Life.' 🎬🤷‍♂️📚

activity, add, bored, boredom, creativity, daydreaming, fun, fun activity, guys, head, imagination, just, left, mental, mental activity, story, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

22 shares on X this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Spotted on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Just shared via TikTok:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on Threads:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Trending via Twitch:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Making waves on Messenger:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Spotted on Reddit:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨