Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Shared recently on Threads:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Trending via Pinterest:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Spotted on WeChat:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Going viral on WeChat:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

1 month ago

Playful quote about waking up happily next to someone, humorously dismissing the train ride.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of morning realizations! 🌞💋🚂 Looks like this train ride just got a one-way ticket to Awkwardville! 😅 #MorningSurprises"

again, alive, catching, ever, glad, humor, i, just, kiss, life, morning, next, person, relationship, sleeping, train, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

99 shares on Slack this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

28 shares on X this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Making waves on YouTube:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Going viral on Telegram:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Just shared via Reddit:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Making waves on Slack:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Seen just now on Twitch:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Trending via Messenger:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨