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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1864 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,026

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,026

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Spotted on Reddit:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Reported on Snapchat:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Shared recently on YouTube:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1864 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,026

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,026

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Trending via Instagram:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Breaking via Reddit:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Trending via Discord:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Just shared via Reddit:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

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