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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Just landed via Reddit:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Trending via Twitch:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Spotted on Slack:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Spotted on X:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Making waves on Discord:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Funny alphabet song quotes

New funny alphabet song quotes 👇

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

0

2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole

All funny alphabet song quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Just shared via Facebook:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Spotted on Telegram:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny alphabet song quotes

New funny alphabet song quotes 👇

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

All funny alphabet song quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨