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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Trending via Slack:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just shared via Messenger:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Live now on WeChat:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via Telegram:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Breaking via TikTok:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Spotted on WeChat:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Trending via X:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Just shared via Twitch:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Trending via Telegram:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Trending via Snapchat:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just landed via Threads:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

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