Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Live now on Twitch:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Just landed via Slack:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Just shared via Threads:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Trending via Instagram:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Spotted on Slack:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Just landed via X:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Funny bars quotes

Funny bars quotes 🍻 bring the perfect blend of wit and weekend vibes to any night out! Whether you’re raising a glass with friends or just need a chuckle after a long day, these clever lines keep the good times flowing and the laughs coming. Ready to toast with a smile? Get ready to sip, smile, and share some unforgettable bar banter! 🎉🍹😂

New funny bars quotes 👇

All funny bars quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

79 shares on X this month:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Just landed via Instagram:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Trending via Slack:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Just landed via Threads:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴