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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Breaking via X:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Just shared via Slack:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Just landed via Threads:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Trending via Discord:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Spotted on Facebook:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Just landed via Threads:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Funny birdwatching quotes

Funny birdwatching quotes 🐦😂 bring a feathered twist to your birding adventures! Whether you’re a seasoned birder or just love spotting quirky birds, these witty sayings will have you chirping with laughter. From awkward moments in the wilderness to unexpected bird behaviors, get ready to see birdwatching through a fun and lighthearted lens. Perfect for sharing with fellow nature lovers and adding some humor to your outdoor escapades! 🌳🦜✨

New funny birdwatching quotes 👇

All funny birdwatching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

25 shares on X this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Trending via Reddit:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Going bananas on Discord:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Going viral on Discord:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Shared recently on WeChat:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

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