Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Live now on YouTube:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Trending via Discord:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Making waves on Messenger:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Seen just now on X:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Funny birthday wish quotes

Funny birthday wish quotes bring the perfect dose of laughter and cheer to any celebration 🎉😂 Whether you want to tease a friend or brighten someone’s day with witty words, these playful messages are sure to hit the spot 🎂🎈 Get ready to spread smiles and giggles with humor that’s just right for the birthday vibes! 🎁😄

New funny birthday wish quotes 👇

All funny birthday wish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on X this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Just landed via Discord:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Going viral on Messenger:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Shared recently on Reddit:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Just landed via Discord:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

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