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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Going bananas on Slack:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Just shared via Discord:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Trending via Discord:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Trending via Pinterest:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Making waves on WeChat:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Funny blackout quotes

New funny blackout quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

0

2 months ago

blackout, blackout curtain, control, curtain, decision, humor, sleep, time

Someone from 🇲🇪 has recently shared this quote.

74 shares on Reddit this month.
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

0

5 months ago

1, am, blackout, blackout curtain, confusion, curtain, curtains, dangerous, daytime, here, humor, indoor, night, outside, sleep, time

Someone from 🇺🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

51 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny blackout quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

41 shares on Discord this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

83 shares on X this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Going bananas on X:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Going viral on YouTube:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Making waves on Telegram:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny blackout quotes

New funny blackout quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

All funny blackout quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨