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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Live now on Snapchat:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Breaking via Telegram:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just shared via Twitch:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Making waves on Messenger:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Funny blackout quotes

New funny blackout quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

0

2 months ago

blackout, blackout curtain, control, curtain, decision, humor, sleep, time

Someone from 🇷🇺 has recently copied this quote.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month.
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

0

5 months ago

1, am, blackout, blackout curtain, confusion, curtain, curtains, dangerous, daytime, here, humor, indoor, night, outside, sleep, time

Someone from 🇦🇪 has recently copied this quote.

80 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny blackout quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Threads this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

96 shares on Slack this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Just shared via Reddit:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Seen just now on Slack:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Just landed via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Seen just now on Slack:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny blackout quotes

New funny blackout quotes 👇

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

All funny blackout quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨