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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Live now on Reddit:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Spotted on YouTube:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Spotted on Slack:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Just landed via YouTube:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Just landed via Twitch:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Live now on TikTok:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Funny blunt quotes

Funny blunt quotes bring the perfect mix of sass and laughter 😂🔥—no sugarcoating, just pure honesty served with a side of wit! Whether you need a cheeky pick-me-up or want to roast your friends in the funniest way possible, these quotes hit the spot 🎯🤣. Get ready to embrace the bold and hilarious vibes that make truth-telling downright entertaining! 😎💬

New funny blunt quotes 👇

All funny blunt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Is this art or trash?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Just shared via Reddit:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Breaking via X:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Just shared via Facebook:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Going viral on Telegram:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

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