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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Seen just now on TikTok:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Spotted on Reddit:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Spotted on Slack:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Funny bonfire quotes

Funny bonfire quotes light up the warmth and camaraderie of gathering around a fire. 🔥😄 From witty remarks about marshmallow mishaps to playful jabs at campfire stories, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of bonfire fun. Enjoy a laugh and savor the glow of good times! 😂🌟

New funny bonfire quotes 👇

All funny bonfire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

85 shares on Slack this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Going viral on Instagram:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Spotted on WeChat:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Seen just now on X:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Just shared via Facebook:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Freshly posted on X:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

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