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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Spotted on TikTok:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Shared recently on Reddit:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Trending via Instagram:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Just landed via Slack:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Funny booth quotes

Funny booth quotes bring instant laughs and unforgettable memories to any photo session 📸🤣 Whether you’re with friends, family, or that one quirky coworker, these witty lines add the perfect sprinkle of humor to your snapshots 🎉😜 Get ready to strike a pose, giggle, and create moments that will have everyone talking long after the camera stops flashing! 📷✨ #PhotoFun #LaughOutLoud

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

47 shares on X this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Trending via TikTok:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Going viral on Telegram:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Live now on WeChat:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Breaking via Twitch:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

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