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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Breaking via WeChat:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Trending via Instagram:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Spotted on WeChat:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Funny Boots quotes

New funny Boots quotes 👇

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

2 weeks ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty

All funny Boots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

76 shares on Discord this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Happiness is an inside job.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Breaking via Slack:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Just shared via Twitch:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Just shared via Twitch:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

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Funny Boots quotes

New funny Boots quotes 👇

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

All funny Boots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨