Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Just landed via Messenger:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Trending via Slack:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Spotted on Twitch:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Shared recently on Discord:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Funny bowie quotes

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All funny bowie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

76 shares on Discord this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

90 shares on TikTok this month:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

87 shares on X this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Spreading quickly via X:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Going viral on Facebook:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Breaking via WeChat:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

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