114 funny brain quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

May 26, 2026

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

May 26, 2026

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

May 26, 2026

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

May 26, 2026

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

May 25, 2026

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

May 25, 2026

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

May 25, 2026

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

May 25, 2026

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

May 25, 2026

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

May 25, 2026

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

May 24, 2026

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

May 24, 2026

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

May 24, 2026

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

May 24, 2026

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

May 24, 2026

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

May 24, 2026

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

May 23, 2026

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

May 23, 2026

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

May 23, 2026

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

May 23, 2026

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

May 23, 2026

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

May 23, 2026

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

May 23, 2026

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

May 23, 2026

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

May 23, 2026

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

May 23, 2026

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

May 23, 2026

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

May 22, 2026

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

May 22, 2026

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

May 22, 2026

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

May 22, 2026

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

May 22, 2026

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

May 22, 2026

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

May 22, 2026

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

May 22, 2026

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

May 22, 2026

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

May 22, 2026

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

May 22, 2026

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

May 22, 2026