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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Spotted on Threads:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Trending via Threads:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Spotted on TikTok:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Freshly posted on Threads:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Trending via X:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Funny brightness quotes

Funny brightness quotes 💡✨ are the perfect way to light up your day with a splash of humor and clever wit 😄🌟. Whether you need a clever twist on shining bright or a playful reminder to keep glowing, these witty gems will brighten your mood and spark some laughs 😂🔥. Get ready to shine and chuckle all at once!

New funny brightness quotes 👇

All funny brightness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

56 shares on X this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

57 shares on X this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

65 shares on X this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, turn off the planet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Going viral on Messenger:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Making waves on Reddit:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Just shared via Facebook:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

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