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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Trending via Threads:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Just landed via Facebook:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

52 Funny broke quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

91 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Trending via YouTube:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Just landed via Threads:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Spotted on Reddit:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Shared recently on X:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Going viral on Threads:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Spotted on YouTube:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

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