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All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

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Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

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Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

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Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

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Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

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Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

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Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

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I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

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Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

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