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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

42 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Trending via TikTok:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Spotted on Discord:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Reported on WeChat:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Seen just now on TikTok:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Spotted on Slack:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Home » Funny Broken Machine Quotes

Funny broken machine quotes

New funny broken machine quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Commentary:
"Well, if you were told the ice cream machine was broken at McDonald's, you might want to take that as a compliment in disguise! Who knew getting denied ice cream could be a subtle flattery? 🍦😂 #IceCreamDiscrimination"

For even more funny broken machine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny broken machine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

42 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Freshly posted on X:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Trending via Instagram:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Going viral on Instagram:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

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