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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Breaking via Messenger:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Spotted on WeChat:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Breaking via WeChat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Home » Funny Bruise Quotes

Funny bruise quotes

Funny bruise quotes are the perfect way to laugh off those colorful reminders of clumsy moments and unexpected bumps 🤕🤣. Whether you’re sporting a purple patch from a wild adventure or just a minor mishap, these witty lines turn pain into punchlines 💥😄. Ready to brighten up those bruises with some humor? Let’s turn those oops into LOLs! 🎉✨

New funny bruise quotes 👇

All funny bruise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Breaking via Instagram:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Going viral on Messenger:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Live now on Pinterest:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

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