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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

7 hours ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Trending via YouTube:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Live now on TikTok:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Spotted on Twitch:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Spotted on Discord:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Reported on Twitch:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Going viral on Threads:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

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Funny business failure quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

7 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Just shared via TikTok:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Trending via X:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My middle finger salutes you.

Just landed via Twitch:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Making waves on Discord:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

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