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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Just landed via Messenger:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Making waves on WeChat:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Going viral on Slack:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Going viral on Discord:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Just landed via YouTube:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Making waves on Instagram:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Funny candles quotes

Funny candles quotes light up your day with a wink and a glow 🕯️✨ Whether you’re burning one to relax or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings add extra sparkle to any space 😂🔥 Perfect for sharing or gifting, they bring cozy vibes and cheeky smiles all around! Get ready to brighten your mood and your room with some seriously hilarious candle humor 😄💡

New funny candles quotes 👇

All funny candles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

63 shares on Threads this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

27 shares on Discord this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

37 shares on Discord this month:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I must retire to my chambers about this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

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