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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Live now on Discord:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Going viral on TikTok:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Making waves on Threads:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Making waves on Threads:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Funny coffee machine quotes

Funny coffee machine quotes ☕️😂 are the perfect blend of humor and caffeine love! Whether you’re a coffee addict or just enjoy a good laugh while waiting for your brew, these witty sayings will perk up your day. Get ready to espresso yourself with some java-inspired joy that’s sure to make your mornings brighter and your coffee breaks even better! ☕️✨

New funny coffee machine quotes 👇

All funny coffee machine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

17 shares on Discord this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Trending via Facebook:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Making waves on Slack:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Spotted on TikTok:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Making waves on X:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Trending via Facebook:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

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