Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Just landed via Instagram:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Funny collision quotes

Funny collision quotes 🚗💥 bring a hilarious twist to those unexpected moments when things crash together—whether it’s cars, ideas, or awkward encounters! 😂 Get ready to laugh out loud as these witty sayings capture the chaos and comedy of collisions in the most entertaining way. Perfect for sharing with friends or lightening up a serious situation! 🛑🤣 #CrashAndLaugh #CollisionComedy

New funny collision quotes 👇

All funny collision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Just shared via YouTube:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Shared recently on X:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just shared via Telegram:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Shared recently on Slack:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Breaking via Reddit:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Trending via Telegram:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

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