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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Breaking via Facebook:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Making waves on Messenger:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Just shared via Telegram:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Funny December 24th quotes

New funny December 24th quotes 👇

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

0

4 weeks ago

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All funny December 24th quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

30 shares on X this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

66 shares on X this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

75 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

19 shares on Telegram this month:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Spotted on X:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny December 24th quotes

New funny December 24th quotes 👇

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

All funny December 24th quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨