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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Seen just now on Discord:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Going viral on Slack:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Funny deep breath quotes

Funny deep breath quotes bring a hilarious twist to the simple act of inhaling and exhaling 😆💨 Whether you need a quick mood boost or a lighthearted reminder to chill out, these witty sayings will have you laughing while you breathe in and out 😂🌬️ Ready to turn stress into smiles? Let’s dive into some clever vibes that make taking a deep breath anything but boring! 🤪✨

New funny deep breath quotes 👇

All funny deep breath quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on X this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

17 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Trending via Discord:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just shared via Instagram:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just landed via Facebook:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Just shared via YouTube:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Live now on Facebook:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

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