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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Spotted on Reddit:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Trending via Telegram:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Just landed via Threads:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Just shared via YouTube:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Just shared via X:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Funny dental hygiene quotes

New funny dental hygiene quotes 👇

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

2 days ago

50, 6, care, dental, dental hygiene, flossing, got, humor, hygiene, last, minutes, months, oral, oral care, pressure, procrastination, time, time pressure
Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

3 days ago

care, dental, dental hygiene, every, humor, hygiene, hygiene neglect, neglect, night, nighttime, oral, oral care, teeth, unbrushed

All funny dental hygiene quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

38 shares on Threads this month:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

60 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Just landed via Facebook:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Just shared via Twitch:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Just landed via Discord:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Live now on Threads:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny dental hygiene quotes

New funny dental hygiene quotes 👇

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

All funny dental hygiene quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨