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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Just landed via Discord:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Freshly posted on X:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Live now on YouTube:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Shared recently on Discord:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just shared via Threads:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Spotted on YouTube:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Live now on Facebook:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Trending via Reddit:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Just shared via YouTube:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Making waves on Slack:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

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