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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Spotted on TikTok:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Breaking via X:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Going viral on TikTok:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Funny drink humor quotes

New funny drink humor quotes 👇

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, bad, bad choice, better, choice, decision, decision making, decisions, drink, drink humor, drunk, drunk decision, humor, i, making, ones, self-deprecation, sober, sober decision, sure

All funny drink humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

59 shares on Threads this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Just landed via Instagram:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Live now on X:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Breaking via Twitch:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Spotted on Reddit:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Going bananas on Slack:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny drink humor quotes

New funny drink humor quotes 👇

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

All funny drink humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨