Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Trending via WeChat:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Trending via Snapchat:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Making waves on Threads:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Just landed via Twitch:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Funny duct tape quotes

Funny duct tape quotes bring a hilarious twist to the ultimate fix-it hero 🛠️✨ Whether you’re patching up life’s little messes or just need a good laugh 😂, these witty sayings stick with you like the tape itself! Ready to stick around for some clever wordplay and sticky situations? Let’s roll into the world where humor meets handy hacks 🎉📦

New funny duct tape quotes 👇

All funny duct tape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

30 shares on Discord this month:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

24 shares on Slack this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Trending via Snapchat:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Going bananas on Slack:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Just landed via Discord:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Seen just now on Slack:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Seen just now on Reddit:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

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