Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Breaking via Threads:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Making waves on Threads:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Making waves on Slack:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Breaking via Slack:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Live now on Reddit:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Making waves on Facebook:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Funny eviction quotes

Funny eviction quotes bring a lighthearted twist to an otherwise stressful situation 🏠😂 Whether you’re moving out or just need a laugh, these witty lines turn packing up into pure comedy gold 📦🎉 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even share a few with friends facing the big move! 😎✨ #MovingOn #LaughItOff

New funny eviction quotes 👇

All funny eviction quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Discord this month:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Long story short, I survived.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

80 shares on X this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate math, but I love counting money.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Just shared via YouTube:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Spotted on Messenger:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴