Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna walk a mile in my shoes, might as well track those steps and see how many calories you burn! 🚶♂️👟💪 #FitBitFashionista"
199 Funny exercise quotes
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.
Commentary:
"Who needs to hit the gym when you've got a closet full of black outfits? 🖤💪 #FashionOverFitness"
I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”
Commentary:
"Who needs cardio when you can have a spiritual awakening, am I right? 🏃♂️🙏 #runninglateforheaven"
Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.
Commentary:
"Who needs the gym when you can have a workout just trying to keep the fire alarm from going off? 💪🚨 And hey, if waving a pillow burns calories, then maybe we should start a new fitness trend – Pillow Flailing Workouts! Anyone care to join me? 😂🔥 #FitnessGoals #ChefLife"
I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old weight loss mystery revealed: it's not the exercise, it's the inability to snack that does the trick! 🤔🍔💪 Who knew the real workout was resisting temptation. 😆 #FitnessHumor"
I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
Commentary:
"Riding a bike after years be like: 'Is this how Lance Armstrong did it? I need some of whatever he's having!' 🚴♂️💊 Just wait until the world sees your comeback in the Tour de Suburbia!"
I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.
Commentary:
"I totally get it! The satisfaction of having exercised is unmatched, but the thought of actually doing it… 🏋️♂️💭 Procrastination at its finest! 😅"
Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?
Commentary:
"Triathletes are just overachievers looking for an excuse to wear spandex in public 🏊♂️🚴♀️🏃♂️ Who needs one sport when you can struggle through three, am I right? 😅 #TriathlonTorture"
Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.
Commentary:
"Exercising: when your body reacts like it's in the middle of a turf war with itself 😅🏃♂️💦 But hey, at least you're getting a wheeze-ercise instead of a workout, right? Keep pushing through, even if it means racing with your own heart!"
If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.
Commentary:
"Who needs a gym when you've got a plate full of spicy buffalo wings? 💪🍗 Taking 'burning calories' to a whole new level! 🔥😅 #SweatySnacks"