Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Live now on Facebook:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Going viral on WeChat:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Just shared via TikTok:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Funny eyeliner quotes

Funny eyeliner quotes 🖤✨ are the perfect way to celebrate those winged wonders and smudgy mishaps alike! Whether you’re a pro at the flick or still perfecting your cat eye, these witty lines will have you laughing through every blink 😹💁‍♀️. Get ready to embrace the beauty struggles and triumphs with a splash of humor that’s as bold as your liner game! 🎨👁️‍🗨️

New funny eyeliner quotes 👇

All funny eyeliner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

15 shares on Threads this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

86 shares on X this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Going viral on Twitch:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Going bananas on Telegram:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Going viral on YouTube:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴