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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2529 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,691

Funny Quotes Topics

15,356

Funny Quotes Images

12,691

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I love having plans to cancel.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Trending via TikTok:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Trending via Facebook:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Reported on Facebook:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2529 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,691

Funny Quotes Topics

15,356

Funny Quotes Images

12,691

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Making waves on Telegram:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Just shared via YouTube:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Making waves on Telegram:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

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