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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Making waves on Facebook:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Spotted on TikTok:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Reported on Threads:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think God was high when he made me.

Just landed via Slack:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

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12 Funny fool quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Shared recently on X:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Making waves on YouTube:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Breaking via Instagram:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Making waves on Twitch:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Just landed via Telegram:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Live now on Threads:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

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